tw: domestic violence
[october 23rd, 201_]
the recovery process is hard moving house to a new place, opening boxes that remind you of the brief periods in your _____ that were incredibly happy, only to remind yourself that you need to leave them in the box, and put them on the side of the road because it does you no good to hold onto the past when you're looking towards the future can become increasingly difficult, especially when the rain itself reminds you of traumatic events not only from _____ but from _____ there are so many good days when it's impossible to count all of the blessings I'm grateful for, and then there are others like today, when I can finally afford to buy myself a bed and remember what led me to needing a new one, causing me to go back home and lay on the ground while I flip the Carrie & Lowell record over and over and over for hours reminding myself that nothing that happened is my fault life is the most fascinating art form of them all and I'm trying my best to understand the mediums used on my canvas, but I don't think l'Il ever understand why abuse and rape are colours that stain the majority of the picture the best I can do for myself is try to heal I'll keep turning this record over until I fall asleep, and hope I won't need to turn it back over again tomorrow
[july 5th, 2022]
lili's abue sleeps on that bed now; she says it helps her back pain...which helps mine